Life as a Wave

One of the ways I can reframe a situation is to ask the simple question, “What do I like about this?”

By asking the question, it forces my mind to go from focusing on what’s wrong with something to what’s right. And in doing so, I help the grit of my life turn into pearls.
I really got the power of doing this when I asked myself the ‘what do I like about this?’ question months later after my mom died of lung cancer. I realize that at first glance, this may seem like an insane question to ask about something clearly horrible, but I had already spent the last two months living with the devastation of my mother succumbing to a terrible disease. I knew the pain, the sorrow, the helplessness I felt.

When I asked the question, what do I like about the fact that my mother died of cancer, I got some interesting answers:

One, I like the fact that knowing our time together was short, what time I had with my mom was filled with simple, yet precious moments together. We even got to talk about some things that we were never able to talk about.

Two, I like the fact that after she died, my family and I went to counseling, where we had the space to work out some of our differences, got to share our feelings and thoughts about mom, and became much closer as a result.

Three, I like the fact that her illness lead me on a path of new alternative healing methods as I attempted to save her life.

Four, I like the fact that I would learn to accept the choices people make when she at one point decided to not fight the disease.

Five, and this is one of the most meaningful for me, I like the fact that in the midst of her dying, I became aware of a new sense of wonder and appreciation for living. For the first time in my life, I truly felt the preciousness of life.

………………………………………………….

The pain and horror of the experience was real. The beauty and unexpected insight and healing? Just … as …. real.

By giving consideration to both the pain and the beauty, I honor that experience in all that it has to offer.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 31st, 2006 at 2:30 am and is filed under Tension & Release. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.